Father's Day

Wow, I never realized how important father's day is to so many. My dad bailed on me when I was 5ish. Through the years I know I became a better person for not having him in my life, but I always notice when men are good dads. It is so important for kids to have a male role model in their lives, expecially a positive one. I have met men who are just AMAZING dads. I have met men who suck as dads.

My friend Forrest is one of the amazing one's, in fact he is one of the best dad's I have ever met. His relationship with his daughters is absolutely beautiful and you can see how much they love and respect him. Sometimes they would rather give up social events because they miss him and want to see him, that speaks volumes!!! His girls are as amazing as their dad too!!! It's just nice to see a man incorporate his children in his life as part of it, instead of a chore and inconvenience.

I don't know how I ran on that tangent, but it must have been for some reason. Anyway, yes, I always notice good dads and maybe secretly envy them. I didn't realize how angry I was about my dad until I had my son and then the anger amplified when I saw him for the first time in 31 years, last December. In my eyes, he isn't worthy of the phone call to say happy father's day, but that's just me. I resolved the anger problem and moved on.

Dad's are an important role in their children's lives...they are the protectors, by nature and when you feel like you have no to protect you it sux!!!

Anyhoo, I still enjoy my life and everything I encountered, endured and survived made me who I am today :) And I like me, everyone I meet may not but ha! that's their problem lol!!!

Love you world!

Circles and Circles

Circles and circles
Around and around
No beginning or end
None to be found

Constant and flowing
Faster and fast
No prediction or triumph
With repetition of past

Tiring and exhuasting
Draining and dried
Any ounce of completion
Grows further each stride

If I could stop them
Just a pause but best hault
The thoughts in my head
Feed off my faults

An eternity in action
With flaws at the helm
Driving and driving
The thoughts that overwhelm

At least it's just thoughts
Not actions that mark
That leave people feeling
So left in the dark

The Universe

I smile
With every thought,
Every constant reminder
That I'm alive

The universe is complete
Completely perfect

I offer my breath,
My actions
Both good and bad
To promote the wheel of karma

What will come, will come
The complexity of life
The confusion of truth
With my hands tied, they come

And as I wait,
The next moment happens
Without regard of my patience
Or existence

I am insignificant
But important
I am a bit of the wheel,
Of the universe

A contribution to perfection
Yet imperfect myself
Contradicting and harmonious
What we will never understand

But what I know
And deeply love
Is my bit, my constant
Makes the universe complete

Completely perfect

I Wait

I can list you my flaws,
My errors
On a day like today

Unheeded doubts
Everything is wrong
On a day like today

I am sunken
Deep in the sand
With a tide rolling in
Deep in the sand
Trapped
Holding my breath, I wait

As the salt dries on my skin
My hair

I wait...

Morning

The morning rush
My cranial chaos
Putting it all together
The day
The time
My sanity

Sunshine
The anxiousness of my son
The contemplation
Rolling off my thoughts

There is no choice
No turning back
It is...

Morning.

Find its own fate

I don't seem to keep my eye on the prize
In my head I hear my voice feed me lies
But in my heart I feel the need
To write and write until my fingertips bleed

I can't stay focused when the time does lapse
Perhaps, I'm scared of success, perhaps
Or maybe, just maybe, I don't want it all
Maybe I would rather quit than try and fall

It tugs at my soul with a weight to release
The explosion it needs to create its own peace
Desire and greed to escape my mind
To escape and fulfil, both at the same time

I should let it all out and open the flood gate
Let my creativity flow and let it find its own fate

I don't need to

I think I know what it is
I think
And I think
And I think
But I never define

I think my spectrum of knowledge
Can fix it
And I think
I am strong
Enough to fix it

But maybe I'm not
Maybe,
Maybe I don't need to fix it

Driving

I design my own map
Yet I'm lost
If I drive the distance
Will I find most
Of what I've hidden

The scenery is grand
The breeze feels great on my face
The feeling of moving
Makes my heart beat fast

I close my eyes
To see it all
Thrown back over the seat
With the world
I am liberated