The Arabic Dinner Party

Wow! I had so much fun last night at my friend Jessica and Ala's dinner party. Ala's sister is visiting from Saudi Arabia and they hosted an AWESOME Arabic dinner party. The food was fantastic, the company was great and the game of charades, well, my team won, that's all I have to say. I love talking to people from other cultures, other religions. I was in a room full of Lebanese, Druze, Civil Engineers - no, I mean four out of four of the Middle Easterners all fit all of these criteria. Kinda cool - interesting. I find that younger people of the middle eastern culture is much more mature than americans of that age range. Totally a generalization based on my visit last night, so it's probably very over stated but none the less - that's the impression I got.

Anyhoo - I'm too too tired to blog today, just wanted to say that little bit. Nite nite!

Marriage

It's always fun to remember the conversations of people's drunken stupor. Topic of the night (previous night): marriage. From the opinion of two divorced people, both male and female.

I belive marriage is a concept, not a signatured piece of paper. I don't think that I will ever marry again. If I meet someone and it's that important to them, maybe, but then I will just wonder what they want :)

If I am with someone and they say they want to spend the rest of their lives with someone: that is marriage. It is committment, respect, selflessness, giving, cherishing, trusting, communicating, loving to spend time together, wanting to spend time together, doing things you don't want to because your partner wants to and them doing the same thing in return. Marriage is LOVE in all senses of the word. To be in relationship a level above your dating "level" relationship where you really want to spend the rest of your life with that someone, that is marriage, to me.

So, I ask you, why does the state of Texas need to endorse it? If you want to share your committent in front of God and your family and friends, then do it - but what does the Texas state seal have anything to do with it?

Okay - so as I sit here, of course I talked about this with my current peers. Some good points were brought up. My friend, Shawn, brought up a good point. How, for woman it may be a bioglogical need to have a "protector", a rock, security to protect herself and her offspring. Good point.

Still, I take that point and I say, what does the woman do when she doesn't have a "protector"? She steps up to the plate and becomes a survivor (that's my opinion, of course). She steps up to the plate and provides, protects, guides, nurtures, etc. her offspring. So, why did she need the man?

I'm not saying woman don't need men - didn't mean to take this topic off on a tangent, but I am saying why do so many woman want to be "married"? Why can't we live together and care for each other at a level of marriage and be considered married? Why is this frowned upon by so many, people, cultures, religions? In the Bible itself, when Rachel is "bedded" by the man and they wake up and they are "married". Hmmm...so all they had to do was sleep together? Doesn't that contradict everything they teach us out of the Bible? Just a thought to ponder.

Anyhoo- nite nite :)

All is Good with Love and Religion

Okay, i'm over it :) ya, my depression doesn't last long - sometimes the thoughts will creep in on my but "bam" I squish like grape (from Karate Kid).

Last night I hung out with Jess, Ala, Salim and Zaina - what fun!!! Oh and Joseph for a little bit but he left - wuss :) We played charades - hilarious!!! We were cracking up laughing. That is what I like to do most, laugh. AND hang out and play games. I like to enjoy people's company. I would rather do that than anything else with my friends.

Then...religion snuck in...There goes the conversation. HA! But it was cool. It's so very interesting to hear people's perspective and level of passion when it comes to the topic. Some people are so cool and collected and others get very excited. Cute! I'm talking about Salim...he's very passionate about the subject. You gotta love him!

I love to think about it - religion and how the different disciplines guide people's lives. I firmly believe there is truth to be found in EVERY religion. Even the one's most fear, I'm sure there is something to offer the world. I think it's fascinating the "hope" religion gives people. You see, I don't believe in heaven and hell. Most people have a hard time understanding that. I try to be a good person for no promise of an eternal return. Most people don't understand me. :( But that's okay with me. I have a very firm belief...very firm faith.

I fully believe in one God and that he sent his son down. I don't believe in worshipping Jesus though. I give all credit to God - this is hard for my Christian friends to understand.

I believe in the Bible and that it is true BUT I believe in other religious documents too. I believe that interpretation varies greatly on these documents, including the Bible. My interpretation tends to be different and that's okay. I don't think I am "right" and everyone else is wrong - I just believe my way.

I am never here to convince ANYONE of my way. It works for me and that's all. I absolutely HATE when people try to convince me of their way. Just tell me what your beliefs are - sometimes I hear bits that I agree with on my own.

I love the good conversation of religion, faith, belief systems. I don't judge (i'm not perfect though), I try to love all, I always try to find the good in every situation, blah, blah, blah...I hate using the word religion when I say I love the conversation but it is such that drives people.

I started reading Siddhartha again because I like to feed my spiritual soul with it sometimes :)

Anyhoo - good day!

Weirdness

I think it's weird when you want to stop thinking about something and you can't. You, well I, try so hard and I can't. I even talk to myself about not thinking about it. It is driving me crazy!!!! I get anxiety over it. Most "issues" I am methodical about and just get right through it, but not this time. This time it is hard for me, really hard. It kinda has me depressed :( I just don't like it. I don't like being depressed - it aggravates me! Life shouldn't be lived depressed. I feel for people who are chronically depressed, I can't handle one day of it let alone an entire life.

Focus, focus: I need to focus on all the good things in my life - that's what I'll do. I have an amazing son, fantastic friends, a great job, a super sister, what else...

Do other people have this problem? Where you can't wait for the day you are not thinking about this "thing"? I know in time I will have forgotten but waiting for that day to come makes tired :(

Anyhoo - nite nite!

The Perfect's...

Today, Jen and I were driving and talking about what would be the perfect evening. A few minutes before I was saying how I wish the holidays weren't so bunched together. So, I started thinking about "the perfect's".

Perfect Meal
Filet Mignon - medium rare
A side of hollandais sauce to dip the steak in
Sauteed Aspargus
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Creme Brulee

Perfect Calendar Year
New Year's - January 1
Thanksgiving - April
Christmas - August
The rest of the holidays can stay where they are :)

Perfect "night"
Pedicure
Glass of wine
Massage
Sex
Cigarette
Sleep

Perfect Life
House on the Beach
Jeep with no top or doors and big knobby tires
Professional writer
Own a coffee Shop
-All this is perfect only with my son, of course :)

Perfect Trip
1 Year - Anywhere, getting to work and live with the locals
Preferably - Europe and Asia - Especially Japan

Perfect Day
Coffee on the patio in my jammies
Breakfast at some hole in the wall
Nap
Picnic & Read at the Menil Lawn
Menil
Dinner/Drinks - watching a live band

Perfect Day #2
All day at the beach - I love the salty feeling you get on your skin as the day goes on
Eat fruit on the beach
Sail
Bike ride
-All of this near the water :)

Perfect Day #3
Sit at coffee shop all day and read, and people watch

Perfect outfit
Levi 515's - frayed at the bottom
White V-neck t-shirt
Flip flops
My leaf pendant
If it's cold - an American Eagle zip up hoodie & my pom pom scar :) but I would still wear flip flops

These are just off the top of my head - I'm sure I could have a million variations, I'm a libra :) but these are the ones I have actually thought about on more than one occasion.

Truely, who's to say if I had all these "perfect's" I wouldn't desire some other perfect, right? This was just fun for me to think about.

Anyhoo - nite nite...

My heart, my son

Today, my heart left
Today, my son left
The space in my chest
Empty, like a catacomb
Like a cacoon
Waiting for the butterfly

My heart weeps
A willow tree
A weeping willow tree
I droop in my heart
I sag
In my eyes

I will wait
And soon my heart will be full
Although, to me
An eternity
When my heart fills
The joy will inundate
My sould

Unscathed

Where is it
In my heart
My mind
My fingers, my toes

How do I even begin
To look
How do make my eyes
Search unscathed

Different and Better 2011

I am always looking to make myself a better person. True, I should do it all the time but turning points, like a new year, are always a good benchmark. I want to 2011 to be a better and different year. I have made my goals for 2011. Here we go:

Physical - lose 42 pounds by eating healthier and riding my bike (I lost 38 pounds in 2010) - OH, and attend Bhangra 'n Bollywood dancing classes with my friend Amanda at the JCC

Mental - join a scrabble league of some sort, to exercise the brain & commit to reading four books this year - I know it doesn't sound like a lot, four books, but with a four year old it's nearly impossible to find time to read, I use to read four books in a month...

Spiritual - Learn about the Islamic culture and religions belonging to it by researching and attending their churches/Mosques and cultural events.

Financial - to save money - ha! right? this one always wavers, any amount of money I can keep in my savings account will exceed my goal - ANY!

These are my tangible goals for 2011. Pray for me :) ha! No, really, I hope to achieve them all and learn and grow from them. Life is too short to just sit around. I always love the spiritual goals because that means learning about people and what they believe and most importantly why they believe it.

Anyhoo - nite nite!