Today was a yucky day for me :( I woke up not feeling well and then it escalated so much I had to leave work. Not like me. I slept the whole day and I'm still tired. Something's not right.
I'm in a weird place in my life. I don't know why. I am lonely...I feel like everyone likes their life but me right now. That's kind of pathetic. I know it will blow over because I don't get depressed very often and I usually snap out of it pretty quickly but it sucks when I'm here :( Not lonely because I don't have friends but lonely because I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't like their life. I'm not depressed enough to cry though - that's a good sign :) ha!
The new year starts in two days. I have to get it together before then so I can make a plan. I love plans :) The sad part is I don't even know what to plan, hmmmm. I will think about it and come up with something. I usually do a physical, mental, spiritual and financial goal for each year. I think this year will be very tiny goals though because I'm feeling a little unmotivated. Really, I will probably feel more successful by the end of the year because if you under-promise and over deliver - hehehe...what a corporate motto, huh?
How does the rest of the world deal with depression? How do you see something that is happening in your life and commit to letting it go? I mean, I know how - I guess sometimes we don't want to..we hope that it will change so we wait for "hope". The reality is that it may never change and then we end up waiting for a long, long time. Then we feel like we've invested so much time that we shouldn't give up "then". Then we've wasted ten years "hoping" this "thing" work the way we wanted it to and it doesn't. So why waste any time and just not accept that this isn't the way it should be and I let it go and move on. And I just eliminated wasting ten years of my life. Thank you blog therapy. :) And people pay therapists? ha!
Just kidding - it's so much easier to analyze a situation than it is to practice it. The sad part is - I don't really know what I'm holding on to, but I know something is holding be back right now as we speak and I need to figure it out and move on!
I think the scary part is, usually when I have an obstacle in life that causes me to get depressed it means that I have to change something within myself. Who wants to admit that they have a flaw or something about themselves they need to change? Admitting we need to change is hard, isn't it? Is it just me being weird? I don't know, but change will happen soon!!!
Anyhoo - way past my bed time - nite nite :)
Newborn Photographer in Houston
5 years ago
4 comments:
we all feel bleh from time to time...you need a trip to Rothko Chapel. That always makes you feel good and clears your head. Your good at getting plans in order and moving forward.
good idea!!! rothko it is!!! i will have to make a trip over there soon!
Moose,
We all feel alone or depressed sometimes. It is through our experiences that we learn to take time to visit the Menil/Rothko Chapel (lol Jenn) and appreciate the beauty within. If we did not feel alone, then we would not know what it is to miss our friends and family. If we did not feel depressed, we would not make changes and be proud of our accomplishments in our journey through life. You are on incredible Journey, lil lady. You make me laugh, you are always a positive and creative thinker, you have great stories and cook so well, what was that Kale Saute recipe again? Give yourself a big hug and know if it was not for your past, you would not be who you are today. That makes you so special!
Feel better soon!
PS - you can get Astragalus at Whole Foods
Tcon - I am laughing that you called me Moose - lol! Maybe that should be my new nickname!! You always have such kind and encouraging words :) You were a great influence in my life for the better, always ambitious and ready to accomplish. Everything is right, about reflection. I am in a good place - love you!
Post a Comment