Too Many Factors

Oh my! So I have a huge sensitivity to anesthesia that makes me extremely depressed for two to three days, or until it is completely out of my system. Yesterday I had a colonoscopy, yes, I really had one and I am blogging about it :) Anyway, they give a mild anesthesia, so of course, the depression set in yesterday. I couldn't sleep last night because of it and then today I couldn't not sleep because of it. It's weird, no? That anesthesia does this to someone? Then, I was talking to my friend Courtney and she said the same exact thing happens to her. How funny is that? Really? She even said that when she had her wisdom teeth pulled was the worst episode - same with me!! I remember waking up from my wisdom teeth being pulled and I actually woke up crying and it didn't stop for like three days.

When I was nineteen I had my gallbladder removed and I remember being depressed but the post-op pain superseded my depression :( So, although I was depressed and remember it, I remember holding my tummy in place feeling like my guts were going to fall out even more. Then when it all healed and I physically saw the incision, I realized how difficult it would have been for my guts to have fallen out of an inch and a half incision.

Then, last November I had a HUGE mass removed from my right arm and that time I clearly remember being depressed. I remember sleeping all the time (mostly because of the pain pills) but I remember wanting to coat check my responsibilities for a few days.

Well, this time, I have the anesthesia depression AND PMS. Hello!!! Can you say toxic concoction? Say it with my "toooxiiic coooncooooctiiiooonn". Last night I was crying, this morning I was crying. I only slept last night from like two until five-thirty and then again from seven until ten and then AGAIN from two until about four. What the heck! And every moment in between I just want to lay there like a zombie.

Irony: I'm a pretty happy go lucky person. I mean, I'm not perfect, but for the most part I think I am happy. I'm not really used to being depressed and especially not crying for no reason.

So all this is just killing me. I almost even wrote a sad poem, but I had to draw the line :) I refuse to write a pity party poem - ha! That's just not me. Let me deal with something and move on! I feel like if I feed this mood it will continue, you know? For instance, in the car I was listening to some rockin' music and my mood was great. I know it will all be done by Sunday but the interim is suffocating!!!!

Boo depression! Yay life!