Ho Hum...

What a few days! Running a little down - but not bad, just solem. Thinking about life scars. You know? It's funny to me how we get them and depending on the scar, how deep, how visible, how wide, did I require stitches, etc. depends on how I look back at it. I thought at times that I looked back and thought, "wow, that makes me a better person" but then I realize - hmmm, I don't think I ever really processed it. So, then I realize I have these traits as a person (which can be quite aggravating) that are a complete result of that "scar". So - newsflash!!! I HAVE ABONDMENT ISSUES- does it really make a better person? I am very loyal because of it, very loyal! My friends know that I will run to the ends of the earth for them - no lie! Why? Probably because I don't ever want anyone to feel abandoned but to know that I will be there NO MATTER WHAT!!! But now, if ever I feel like I'm losing someone in my life - ANYONE (ask Jenny, she knows how aggravating it is) - I over compensate by calling all the time, texting, emailing them - anything to make them remember "Hello! I'm over here! Don't forget about me!" but in reality I am an adult, my friends are adults, we live adult lives and are busy and just because my friends can't talk to me every minute of every day doesn't mean that they are not my friends or don't want to be friends anymore. I have to gain security in myself because of this - I don't really know how to begin but I must. I don't want to aggravate my friends :( right? Anyhoo - let this journey begin.